The Difference between Shame as a “State” and Shame as a “Trait”
There is a difference between a shame “state” and a shame “trait.” But first, I need to explain a bit about what I mean by a “state” or “trait” in general.
A state is our experience in any given moment of time. That experience encompasses all of our being. This is made up of both what we are aware of and what we are not aware of. We are often aware of our thoughts and emotions, or our body sensations, or images that are being generated internally. The state also includes that which we are not aware of, such as what our immune system is doing to protect us, various chemical and hormonal processes internally. We simply can’t be aware of all the internal processes that are happening. Regardless, our system is always interacting with the external environment and adjusting and responding internally. These responses are experienced as our state in any given moment of time.
This means that are states are continuously in flux. Some would liken our states to local weather conditions. There are numerous factors contributing to our local weather conditions, many of which are barely understood by scientists, which is why it’s notoriously difficult to predict the weather accurately. Likewise, our systems are constantly responding and changing to a complex variety of inputs, most of which are difficult for any individual to track or even be aware of with any significant accuracy. These changes have lots of fluctuations, which is why we experience our states as changing quite frequently, sometimes unbeknownst to us as to the reason why or cause of the change.
A trait, on the other hand, is more like the climate, measured over long periods of time. Rather than rapid ups and downs, there is a longer trajectory formed from patterns of multiple states. Traits are more encompassing and we tend to notice these patterns over time.
When it comes to shame, a shame “state” will be a response of our system to an episode that elicits a whole system experience that we might call “feeling shame.” Such an episode is fairly limited. There is a beginning and an end. It is specific to an immediate circumstance. And that circumstance creates a system-wide reaction that in time, we’ve learned to call “shame.”
A shame “trait,” however is more all encompassing. If one has had a sufficient number of shame episodes, over time, the accumulation of these episodes may create a repeating pattern over time that is experienced as an overarching generalization about the self. This generalization may lead one to feel broken or defective or unworthy overall. In addition, the trait of shame may actually make shame episodes feel more intense and the state of the system may feel the effects of the shame episode lasting longer than might otherwise be the case for someone without trait-wide shame.
Whether or not shame is experienced as a short-lived state or an enduring trait, self-compassion can emerge when we know that shame episodes have a beginning, a middle, and an end. When we understand the arc of shame biologically, we are better able to manage the experience of it with some greater ease.
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